2019 is proving to be a busy year and also most enjoyable as the healing/teaching activities of my husband and I have brought us in contact with people from all over the globe. I am truly blessed and grateful to connect with so many dear hearts worldwide! Here at home, there have also been many special occasions shared with family and friends both new and old and these experiences have directed me in quieter moments to reflect on these BONDS OF LOVE as we travel along life’s path.
In looking into the meaning of the word ‘bond’ it is described as a force of attraction, an attachment or joining, something that ties or fastens thing together and also in the legal sense, something held as a commitment to repay a debt or guarantee security.
If we take a step back and look at the significant relationships we have had in our lifetimes, we can see these definitions reflected in the bonds of love we create for ourselves. Often our romantic connections arise most strongly out of an undeniable force of attraction or an instant inner knowing that ‘this is the one’. Then there are the friendships formed when we recognise kindred spirits in our extended family groups, the neighbourhoods we live in, or the various learning institutions we attend. Also there are the activities that bond us to others through our hobbies and interests, spiritual groups or work places.
I think if we are being honest we probably all hold our loved ones, friends and associates to our own idea of bond, commitment or unspoken debt of love!… and when they dont meet our expectation of loyalty… ‘all for one, one for all’… ‘love given love returned’… or whatever ‘conditions’ we place on our relationships… our true bond of love is quickly forgotten!
I’m sure it is not by accident, that we find some of our most challenging relationships exist within our own families or significant life/business partnerships… the greater wisdom knows that these are the relationships it is generally harder for us to walk away from, at least without giving things a good go!!! Speaking from a Soul perspective, these ‘bonds’ may extend back lifetimes – bonds created and played out over and over again, building a momentum of both good and bad AND YET THE TRUE BOND OF LOVE REMAINS, drawing us back together, ever awaiting the opportunity for us to resolve the old hurts, break the old contracts and go forward anew in loving, peaceful cooperation. [SIGH].
I am determined that the bonds of love will be the winner in my life now!… though oh my goodness, that is not easy when those old buttons are pushed… but as I continue to bring my conscious intention to every challenging situation I find myself in…
- I AM getting better, little by little at not getting sucked into the ‘personality’ vortex of hurt emotions
- I AM getting better at seeing the truth of the situation – taking responsibility to change my shortcomings and giving back responsibility to the other for that which they need to change
- I AM MORE AWARE in those moments when that sinister force is trying to catch me off guard, or trip me up, or plant discord in the spaces where we are trying to create something beautiful and cooperative and life sustaining together
I also know deep inside myself that if someone is being unpleasant, it is probably an old script playing itself out and I CAN CHOOSE TO REWRITE MY PART IN THAT by actively calling forth the merciful, divine love and forgiveness that is needed to dissolve the old hurts, mine and theirs. I CAN CHOOSE TO STRENGTHEN MY BOND TO LOVE ITSELF and LET GO of the desire for resentment or retaliation that only perpetuates pain and suffering.
So try this out if you find yourself in a tug of war… LET GO OF THE ROPE, CUT THE TIE that binds you to a habitual, destructive relationship pattern or personality that does not respect your right to be treated fairly with dignity, honesty and kindness.
But please note I am not advocating cutting people out of your life, unless it is done to preserve your safety as in abusive situations. Even then, the unhealthy bond or emotional fallout within you still needs to be addressed to bring true healing and closure.
For the most part I have found that as my consciousness, lifestyle and life choices have changed, there has been more of a natural reshaping of the flow of people in and out of my circle. The truth is though that sometimes those endings have been painful and I do continue to pour my love and forgiveness into those circumstances in the hope that some day there may be a mutual resolution.
Ultimately though, we each have freedom of choice to live out our lives as we wish and I respect that. My LOVE for those who were once dear to me has not lessened in their absence and in my heart I KNOW IT IS OKAY, personalities may come and go but the true bond of love between us remains forever…
With Loving Compassion